Have you not read the parable of the talents?
If I cannot be trusted with $400, what makes you think I can be trusted with $10k?????
Yes I have read the parable, the man who had little did not even try to do the work of his master for
fear that he would fail.
Your problem is different than simply not trying (finger wagging again, lol)
there is something inside of you that doesn't want to succeed; or you would not
keep sabotaging yourself.
There comes a time in a man's life when he must put down the small weights if he
wants to see growth.
Some people just cannot perform until they feel that something significant is at risk.