My main objective for the week was just to study and memorize a mental checklist I made for myself, to help train my eyes and brain to more instinctively go with the flow of what I am trying to read from my charts. (yes, I admit, sometimes I may make things more difficult than they need to be; I can't help it sometimes...I have a habit of thinking that hard work can actually be beneficial??

The main list is titled:
Trading Checklist to Get Zline Mentally Prepped When you Turn on Your Trading Station, Non-Expert Trader Krane
Seriously.
And my secondary list is titled:
[font=comic sans ms]KEEP IN MIND WHEN HAVING TROUBLE FINDING ZLINE TRADES:[/font]
So, I really just wanted to memorize the two. I had intended to do some trading this week as well, but a weird thing happened, I realized I was scared. I didn't even want to turn on my trading station. Now I know that I had a lot on my mind outside of Forex trading, a few family affairs and bits of organizing that I had to get involved with, but still, it definitely was a terrible feeling, just getting overcome by a lack of confidence like that. Maybe I really just did have a lot on my mind altogether.
Either way,
Repugnant.
So I guess I reopen a demo or just commit to trading half size, till I grow back another pair of balls (mine disappeared somehow.) Ugh, necessary evils I have to take (

So I thought, if I'm going to be a self-employed trader, I probably can't have too many days, or even a week when I am overcome by feelings like this. I realized that despite how much I tell people and [highlight=black]MYSELF [/highlight]that being independent is my goal in trading Forex, in all reality, it will probably be scary as hell for me the day I turn my back on a (more or less) 'guaranteed' check from an employer [despite how barely sufficient it might be.] It was scary and kind of sad to realize that I actually might have an inner fear of being independent, that I might be more plugged into the The Matrix {read: Rat Race} than I realized.
So I wondered:
{for me}If I have an underlying fear in having myself as the sole provider of my own income, could this be something that limits my ability to be confident and trade consistently?
(I'm sure people who decide to start their own business in other types of areas have a similar fear that they need to conquer...)
-One more demon to fight,

~Krane