Well the party line goes like this.
Dramatis personae:
- Angus: a very talented, skillful and prolific trading platform programmer who is willing to share his code and help beginners for free
- Horatio: a trader, beginner, who doesn't have much programming skills but is willing to learn
- Mr. Lear: an old trading software company owner (old/decrepit are both the owner and the company). His well-prospering-and-never-to-be-in-a-bakruptcy-anytime-in-the-future company is named TradeSignalEnron. The stock of TradeSignalEnron is currently trading at a comfortable level
- Iago: a forum moderator at TradeSignalEnron forums. A sly and envious villain who compensates his various complexes by terrorizing the TradeSignalEnron's forum members every now and then
- Harpagon: a third-party add-on developer for TradeSignalEnron trading platform. Harpagon makes his evil money by selling his Controllable Realtime Automatical Programs (C.R.A.P.) to the beginning traders who believe they will make money by using them
Act One
Scene: The TradeSignalEnron forum.
Horatio: I've got troubles getting this to work. I really don't have a clue what this all stuff is for. Please help!
Harpagon: I will be glad to help you, man.
Horatio: Oh that's wonderful! I really appreciate that.
Harpagon: You're welcome. You can try my Controllable Realtime Automatical Program. It solves precisely the issue you are talking about.
Horatio: You are so kind.
Harpagon: Well I like to help people.
Horatio: Great! So it will make this GizmoBar work so that it turns red when that FooIndicator crosses the price?
Harpagon: Why, not exactly, but it does some pretty similar thing and you'll make big bucks using that add-on utility, take my honest word on that!
Horatio: I will, Harpagon! Thank you very much, you're so kind!
Harpagon: Once again, I like to help people. I'll actually cut down the price from $5000 to $4999 just for you.
Horatio: Oh. The Controllable Realtime Automatical Program is a paid software?
Harpagon: Yes, it is.
Horatio: Ok.
Harpagon: Well.
Horatio: Hm.
Harpagon: Yes.
Horatio: Uh, I'd like to buy your software but I don't have so many bucks right now. I can barely fund my trading account
Harpagon: Well no problem, bro, I guess you should borrow some money and go for the deal as soon as possible since such an unbeatable discount ($1) won't be around for a long time.
Horatio: Hm, ok. Thanks for your effort.
Act Two
Several days later.
Scene: Another thread on the TradeSignalEnron forums.
Horatio: I've got troubles getting this to work. I really don't have a clue what this all stuff is for. Please help!
Angus: Hi, Horatio! I will be glad to help you, man.
Horatio: Uhm, thanks. Aren't you going to sell me the piece of Contollable...
Angus: Oh no
)) How can I help you, really?
Horatio: I need to make this GizmoBar work so that it turns red when that FooIndicator crosses the price.
Angus. No problem, man. I'll need to think about it. Give me a few days.
(after a few days)
Angus: Hi, Horatio. Here is the code.
Horatio: Oh you are such a great programmer, Angus!!
Angus: Well, thanks. I've heard some people saying that already.
Horatio: And your code really works! I am now one step closer to making real money in the markets! Thanks much, Angus, I love you!
Angus: Well, don't be extreme.
Horatio: Anyway, you are the best man here on the forums! I don't need to buy any Controllable... gadgets since I am going to use your code. And it's free!
Angus: You're welcome. Enjoy my code and if you need further help, just drop me a line!
Act Three
Scene: Mr. Lear's Office in New York, 286th floor.
Iago: Sir.
Mr. Lear (trying to put the golf ball into the training hole in the middle of his office):
Iago: Sir!
Mr. Lear (trying to put the golf ball into the training hole in the middle of his office):
Iago: Sir!!! (raising his voice considerably)
Mr. Lear: Hell and damnation!
Iago: I'm so sorry to interrupt you, Sir.
Mr. Lear: You're so bloody blooming sorry to interrupt me?
Iago: Sir, we've got a trouble. Our business partners, the third party developers are consistently complaining about a man named Angus, Sir. He posts on our compa..
Mr. Lear: IT IS MY COMPANY!!!
Iago: I'm so sorry, Sir. He posts on YOUR company's forums and he is giving away his working code for FREE! This decreases our revenue since the third party developers like Harpagon are not being able to sell their piece of Controllable... gadgets to ou.. YOUR customers and thus they can't pay u.. YOU the comissions on that.
Mr. Lear: Why would anyone do that?
Iago: Do what, Sir? Pay us the commissions?
Mr. Lear: Post a working code on my company's forums for free, you idiot.
Iago: Oh, I'm so sorry, Sir. Well, we don't exactly know why does he do that, Sir, but we are already working on his psychological profile, Sir.
Mr. Lear: Do him in.
Iago: I beg your pardon, Sir?
(phone with the "leggy blonde" label on it rings urgently on Mr. Lear's desk)
Mr. Lear: Get out and do whatever you deem necessary!
Iago (taking a textbook bow): As you please, Sir.
Act Four
Next day.
Scene: Phone discussion between Iago and Angus.
Iago: Hello, Angus. I've got some news for you.
Angus: Hello, Iago. Are you going to make me a moderator finally?
Iago: Not exactly, you know I have been issuing warnings concerning your giving away your code to the beginners on the forums.
Angus: I can't see anything bad on that. I am actually helping your business grow that way and I'm doing that for free. Your customers are happy, I'm doing what I like the best and you are getting loyal customers by this since the beginners will be better off using my free tools than using the expensive add-ons that are offered by your competition. So they will stay with your platform. What else could a company owner wish?
Iago: Yes, I know that and we really appreciate that as a company. Our management would like to thank you for that wholeheartedly. You are really having our respect for doing that. And I mean it, honestly. But unfortunately you have broken the rule #34 by doing that.
Angus: Ok, and what is the rule #34?
Iago: You know very well.
Angus: I don't know very well.
Iago: It's the rule that says: "Never break rule #54 nor rule #86."
Angus: Oh I see. And what are the rules #54 and #86?
Iago: You know very well.
Angus: I don't know very well!
Iago: Angus, please! Rules #56 and #86 are telling you, in a nutshell, that you should never ever EVER break rules #115, #262, #582 nor #1126. If you do break some or all of those rules, you are subject to treatment according to the rule #323, possibly even by rule #425 and that is, quite frankly, not very pleasant. Simply put, we would be required by our internal rules structure to suspend you from posting on the TradeSignalEnron forums.
Angus: But the forum members would support me!
Iago: That would actually trigger sanctions in rule #726 and also, unfortunately, in the rule #987. Personally I wouldn't recommned you trying to get that support from the forum members. If you do, our lawyers will charge you with the conseqences found in the rule #1556, #4532, #2264, #3126 and also...
Angus: I'm starting to think someone is trying to make a complete bananas out of me...
Iago: Are you being offensive?!
Angus: I'm only saying that..
Iago: That's enough!! You're BANNED FOR LIFE!!!!
(Iago slams the phone down)
Act five
Scene: Angus's home. Angus still holding the receiver.
Angus: Seems like I should finally listen to Michal and switch to NeoTicker..