EVERYTHING That Is - That isn't

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trueblueTEX
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Postby trueblueTEX » Sat Mar 23, 2013 3:10 pm

Hey Pebble,

never seen this thread before. Thanks for the posters and sayings. They're quite thought-provoking.

While I've heard a number of them before, it is always good to recall them. But I've never heard this one: "Everything you want is on the other side of fear" --- WOW! That one is a real eye-opener!
Thanks for making this thread pop up to the top.
TEX

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Postby trueblueTEX » Sat Mar 23, 2013 3:14 pm

PebbleTrader wrote:Yesterday, you told yourself "tomorrow"...

Make It Happen!


I'll never forget, I was about 11 or 12 and at a bar/grill with my folks and there was a huge sign above the bar:

"Free Beer, Tomorrow!"

I thought, wow, we need to come back tomorrow. I sat there through the meal wondering how they could afford to give away so much beer.

Then the light came on and I realized what it meant!

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PebbleTrader
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Postby PebbleTrader » Sat Mar 23, 2013 4:40 pm

Free Beer - Tomorrow!

Love it! :)
Life is just a journey

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RicG
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Postby RicG » Sun Mar 24, 2013 12:10 am

Saw this quote today from the great Miles Davis:
"Sometimes you have to play a long time to be able to play like yourself."

Translates well to trading:
"Sometimes you have to trade a long time to be able to trade like yourself."

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Postby PebbleTrader » Sun Mar 24, 2013 1:06 am

"I will not allow yesterday's success to lull me into today's complacency, for this is the great foundation of failure."
Life is just a journey

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Postby PebbleTrader » Sun Mar 24, 2013 1:21 am

"The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed."
Life is just a journey

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Postby PebbleTrader » Sun Mar 24, 2013 2:04 pm

The Not Knowing Path of Being an Entrepreneur

-------------------------------------------------------

Lots of people who start businesses try to control outcomes:

-A vision for your business's success.
-Goals to get you to the successful vision.
-Try to get the most productive day (out of yourself, or employees).
-Try to produce certain amounts, or hit certain metrics (pageviews, followers, revenue, sales).

Unfortunately, the ability to control outcomes is an illusion. This is one of
the fundamental lessons I've learned in my six years of being in business
for myself.

You don't really know how things will turn out.

And this is OK.

In fact, it's pretty awesome.

Yes, not knowing how things will turn out - day to day, month to month,
year to year - is crazy scary. I'm not gonna front. It's so scary you might
wake up drenched in sweat.

But not knowing is what makes being an entrepreneur more amazing than
working a regular desk job with a regular paycheck. We take risks, we fail,
we don't know what's going to happen, we not only put our toes into the
waters of the unknown ? we dive in, headfirst.

Yes, not knowing is scary. But if you embrace it, not knowing can be
liberating, and can be an advantage.

Let's look at how it's an advantage, and how to stay present in the middle
of the unknown.

The Advantage of Not Knowing

Quiz question: What causes us the most anxiety? Million dollar answer:
Wanting things to turn out a certain way. Wanting an outcome - wanting the
person you love to love you back, wanting people at your meeting or
presentation to like you, wanting a million customers, wanting to be the
next Apple or Twitter or Starbucks. This is the cause of our anxiety,
because when we want that outcome, we fear that it won't come true, and
we strive for it to come true, and of course it might not.

There are a million possibilities, and wanting just one of those possibilities
is a little crazy. What's wrong with the other 999,999? Will our worlds fall
apart if that one outcome doesn't become a reality? No. We'll be just fine
no matter what.

Seriously. You'll be absolutely fine even if the outcome doesn't happen.

So when anxiety comes up, if we learn to let go of needing that outcome,
we can then let go of the anxiety.

So advantage #1: we have less anxiety. What happens when you have
less anxiety? Well, you're happier. You are happier when you meet with
customers or clients or employees. They feel your happiness. They sense
that you're cool with how things are going. You are less desperate. You
don't need things to turn out a certain way - you don't need this one sale.
You do your best to make it happen, but you're cool even if it doesn't.

Other people bet everything on making their outcome happen - but what if
it doesn't? Then they've lost everything, with no clear direction of where to
go when it fails to happen.

So advantage #2: we aren't as tied to one bet. That's a single point of
failure. Not a great idea. Instead, we are OK no matter what happens, and
so any outcome of a meeting, a project, a launch ? we are good with that,
and no outcome really messes us up. We flow.

Another problem is that people who think they know how things will turn
out ? they're fooling themselves. No one knows.

And that's advantage #3: we are more honest. Admitting to ourselves that
we don't know is much more honest than thinking, hoping, things will turn
out the way we want. Honesty is important because if we're going to act,
we should do so with open eyes and a clear assessment of the situation.

Honesty with customers, readers, clients, employees is important too.
Admit you don't know. They will trust you more, because not only are you
telling them you don't know, you are clearly OK with that. You don't know
what will happen, but whatever happens, you'll deal with it. That's powerful.

Those are just a few advantages, but actually the advantages are many.
You don't have to plan as much because not knowing means you realize
that detailed plans are useless, and actually a waste of your time. You
spend less time worrying, more time executing. You aren't consumed by
the horrible fear that you're doing the wrong thing, because you learn that
there is never a perfectly ?right thing? to do - not generally for your
business, or specifically right now.

How to Walk the Not Knowing Path

The Not Knowing Path of an entrepreneur is scary, but honestly, what path isn't?

Here's how to walk the path:

-Admit you don't know. This is obviously the first step, but it's hard
because we often want to think we know, or at least that we can make
certain things happen the way we want them to. We think we can will things
to happen. That's not true. Many things fail despite Herculean efforts to
make them succeed. We don't control the future, we can't know the future.
We don't know. Admit it to ourselves, and to others.

-Watch for anxiety. When you start feeling anxious (and that will always
happen, probably numerous times a day), look inward for the source of the
anxiety. What are you hoping will happen that's making you anxious? This
awareness is the key to everything.

-Tell yourself you'll be OK. You become aware of an outcome you're hoping
for ? now tell yourself that it doesn't matter if that outcome happens. It
really doesn't matter, even if we've made up this story for ourselves that
all depends on it happening. It doesn't matter, and no matter what
happens, we'll be OK. Life-and-death situations are possibly the only
exception to this, though I'm of the mind that even death is an outcome
that I'd be OK with.

-Consider worst-case scenarios. What's the worst thing that could happen?
Someone doesn't like you, doesn't think as highly of you as you'd like, a
meeting ends in anger, a sale doesn't happen, the business fails. How bad
is this worst-case scenario? How likely is it to happen? How would you cope
if it did? Honestly, I think you'd be fine no matter what.

-Know your principles. Take some time to think about what should guide
you, if you aren't guided by trying to make something specific happen. If
you're not tied to an outcome or vision of the future you can't control, what
would guide you? Step back, reflect. What drives you? Why do you do what
you do? For example, some of my guiding principles are wanting to help
others, wanting to act compassionately, wanting to do things I love, and
building trust by doing those things.

-Act on principles, not goals or detailed plans. Once you have your guiding
principles, let them guide you on a day-by-day basis, moment-to-moment.
You don't know how something will turn out when you act, but you do know
whether this action is in line with your principles.

-Breathe, and smile. In the end, not knowing can be scary, but liberating
and profound. You are in the midst of a turbulent sea, and are afloat
without knowing where anything will go. But that's always true, even of
people who don't admit it to themselves. So enjoy the ride. Look at the
amazing place you're in, and smile. Because this path of not knowing ? it is
the path of life itself.
Life is just a journey

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RicG
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Postby RicG » Sun Mar 24, 2013 6:02 pm

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm" - Winston Churchill

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Postby Dillinger » Tue Mar 26, 2013 9:36 pm

PebbleTrader wrote:"The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed."


So true...

"It's always darkest before the dawn"

"At the end of pain is success"

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Postby PebbleTrader » Wed Mar 27, 2013 1:26 am

Image
Life is just a journey

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